I now have two young nieces who are growing up in a very strange world. Uncles have two main roles in supporting their nieces and nephews. First, uncles are expected to give advice regardless of the quality of the advice and the appropriateness of the situation. Second, every niece or nephew is entitled to at least one crazy uncle, about which she or he can tell ridiculous stories to her or his friends. I feel it is now time to begin fulfilling my uncling duties, and so with this post I embark on a series of advice columns for my little nieces which will hopefully provide little buckets of sanity and sagacity that they can carry around with them wherever they go.

Bucket #1: Everything tastes better with ranch. It’s true. Don’t fight it. It is a fact of life. In fact, I’m pretty sure that when God told Moses that He would bring the Israelites into a land “flowing with milk and honey” He was referring to Buttermilk Ranch dressing.

Ah, a ranch fountain! Now that's a party!

Ranch is easily the best dip for all sorts of foods, better even than the dips traditionally associated with the particular food. For example, what’s better for mozzarella sticks than marinara sauce? Ranch. What taste’s better with french fries than ketchup? Easy – ranch! The same is true as a salad dressing. Ranch easily bests every common salad dressing on the market today without even breaking a sweat. Trust me, nieces of mine, save yourself the trouble of choosing sub-par condiments and salad dressings and thus not enjoying your dinners. Order ranch first!

[A big thanks to Joey deVilla for the picture].